alot has happened since i was last here... alot.

"Who?Sendme." went way to well to say that I had anything to do with it. Does that make sense?

How comforting to know that love, trust, hope, faith, loyalty do not depend on me or anyone else besides God. I trust, now more than ever, that He has the best in mind for me, even if I can't see it, or maybe don't understand it.

I want what God wants... how can I go wrong?

Not very long from now, my whole life is going to change. All of the friends I've known my whole life, my family, my church, my school, all of the authority figures, will be gone. I know I won't be very far away, but still... I can never go back. I'll never be a senior in highschool again. I'll never be 17 again.

I'll never have this day again.

We aren't guaranteed our next breath! We cannot waste our life on flippant and futile pursuits. We must passionatetly seek God in everything we do. Everything. Now, as I am saying these things, I am convicted. I can't waste time I will never have again. I must please God... I can't live my life unless I know I am reflecting Christ's love on everyone that sees me.

How daunting. How impossible. How could I ever achieve that? I can't. But Christ already did.

It seems lately, I've been reading so much about knowledge. Seeking the knowledge of God, fearing God and finding knowledge, desiring wisdom above all else. As a result, I've been asking God for wisdom and knowledge. Well, lately I've noticed how much I don't understand about God... not exactly what I'm looking for. But then.. just in the last day or two.. I realized... once God shows me what I don't understand, then I truly seek the truth about it. I want to understand who God is to me.

Well, this entry has gone from one thing to the next, hasn't it.

Some things... I just don't understand right now, and I'm learning that its ok, because God does understand.

And He loves me more than I know.